• Since 1970, marriage rates in America have fallen by about 35 percent, as more people choose to remain single or cohabit.

• In the last two decades, the percentage of people who say they are in "very happy" first marriages has declined substantially and continuously. (The figure has fallen from 54 percent to 38 percent of those in first marriages.)

• Young women are increasingly pessimistic about their chances for a successful marriage.

• Since 1960, the number of cohabiting couples has soared by 1,000 percent.

Though many young people believe that premarital cohabitation improves their chances for a successful marriage, there is significant evidence suggesting the opposite. 

What ails marriage? Part of the problem, say Poponoe and Whitehead, is that the larger culture no longer views it as meriting special status, protection and authority. Marriage was once regarded as an institution in whose well-being the whole society had `' stake. Today, it has "dwindled to a 'couples relationship,' mainly designed for the sexual and emotional gratification of each adult." 

More and more, report Poponoe and Whitehead, Americans tend to "bury" marriage in the larger category of "intimate relationships." 

Yet marriage remains our nation's fundamental social institution. Its mutual obligations form the primary bonds that hold a community together, transforming a collection of isolated, self-interested individuals into a highly interdependent social order. As the experience of the last 30 years makes clear, stable and satisfactory marriages are crucial for the proper socialization and overall well-being of children.

Individual spouses, too, benefit mightily from marriage. Recent research confirms that married people as a group enjoy better health and longer lives than unmarried people. Poponoe and Whitehead cite a 1998 cross-cultural study which found that marriage is positively correlated with happiness in 16 of the 17 nations examined.    According to Poponoe and Whitehead, most Americans continue to aspire to a happy and long-lasting marriage. Indeed, the number of young people identifying such a marriage as a "very important" life goal has actually risen slightly since 1980. 

Here in Minnesota, there's a kind of marriage renaissance going on. The University of Minnesota's Department of Family Social Services is renowned as a leader in the field. Dr. David Olson, a faculty member, is the originator of PREPARE, perhaps the world's most widely used program for building and maintaining good marriages.    Two grass-roots organizations Retrouvaille and Marriage Savers are also working to strengthen marriages in the Twin Cities. Both rely on a huge, untapped resource: experienced, volunteer mentor couples who are trained to teach other couples how to make their marriages a success. Both organizations work through churches, and both maintain that most couples can learn the communication and conflict resolution skills that are the secret of a strong marriage. 

Retrouvaille, an international organization, specializes in revitalizing deeply troubled marriages. It uses clergy and mentor couples (many of whom have "mentally packed their bags at least once") to guide and instruct couples considering divorce. Though historically Catholic, Retrouvaille now works with couples of other faiths as well. Its Twin Cities branch is the largest Retrouvaille operation in the world. 

Marriage Savers, headquartered in Potomac, Md., has a somewhat different goal. It seeks to convert churches from "blessing machines" to full-service marriage and family support centers. Marriage Savers' aims are diverse: to help engaged couples avoid bad marriages, strengthen existing marriages, assist separated couples to reconcile, and give stepfamilies the tools they need to be successful. 

Marriage Savers works by enlisting churches in a community to signon to a "Community Marriage Agreement." Churches that do so agree to take a common, coordinated approach to marriage­­i.e., to require intensive premarital preparation, to train mentor couples, and to develop a variety of marriage enrichment opportunities. To date, over 5,000 churches in 111 cities have signed community marriage agreements. In the Twin Cities, over 300 houses of worship have done so, including churches from 30 Christian denominations, as well as synagogues and mosques. Marriage Savers' Twin Cities operation­­like Retrouvaille's­­is the largest in the country. 

Marriage Savers' founder, Mike McManus, will be in Minnesota on Oct. 28 to discuss his organization's work. At North Heights Church in Arden Hills he will speak to religious leaders about expanding their marriage-related support services.

-- Katherine Kersten is a director of the Center of the American Experiment in Minneapolis.